Hi guys. Right. Pinch punch first of the month!
Here’s a post I’ve written on alcohol addiction, but it can be applied to anything you want to eliminate or change.
In the 4 or so months I’ve been sober I’ve had a couple of slips, well 3 in total to be precise…but each time I learnt something new.
And Here’s some things I have learnt along the way:
💞 eliminate the day one mentality. You don’t get a badge, there’s no trophy at the end of your sober time (as it’s not a point a to point b thing) and to see it in days or months and pin your success on consecutive sober days means you are still attaching yourself to drinking, to state days sober and then reset each time you have a drink is totally and utterly soul destroying, and counter productive. By all means log your days sober but please don’t reset if you slip, don’t slide down the rabbit hole of despair feeling like that slip eliminates all previous success. It’s yet another tactic by the wine witch or as I call it, the ego, to drag you back to feeling despair, like a failure then that paves the way to give up giving up.
💞 be proud of your journey but focus your mindset on being ‘i dont drink alcohol’ instead of I’m —- days sober.
For example: You don’t eat parrots, would you say to people I’m — days free of eating parrots? No. Because it’s not a thing. You just don’t do it. You don’t need to count days for something that’s not a thing. Try to make that your mentality with drink. You don’t have to explain why you dont drink. You just don’t. If you now don’t smoke but used to, you wouldn’t stand and justify your not smoking, or give a day to day count of how long you’ve stopped, you just don’t smoke now. Same with drink- you just don’t drink now. It’s no big deal, it’s a great achievement to overcome addiction but Don’t make drink your life story. It’s something you DID. It’s not who you are or what defines you. If keeping a diary of days stops helps then great but it will help more to just see yourself as you and not attached to addiction to drink or even sobriety. You are just you and your preference is that you don’t drink.
💞practice self care. So important and so so rewarding. It may feel alien at first but then it becomes the new normal. Mine is meditation, audio books, long baths, journaling, painting and drawing… but it can be anything as long as you feel good and it’s just for you. No pressure to do it and no expectation.
💞 don’t let the ego or sub conscious convince you that you don’t have the time or money to spend it on yourself. You found the time and the money to drink, don’t let your sneaky brain convince you otherwise. This simply means it’s running scared, as you’re doing something that goes against its ultimate goal-to keep your drunk and compliant to its need for instant gratification and conflict. If it feels alien and uncomfortable but it’s a self care thing or something that’s a positive thing- trust me, DO IT. each barrier you destroy that belongs to the addictive egotistical part of your brain is a step closer to your own true happiness.
💞 the past is the past. Let it go. If others want to remind you of it, simply remove yourself from the conversation, or politely say that you would rather not talk about it as you are changing that part of you and if you keep talking over it, you feel bad which ultimately makes you want to give up. If you feel you need to apologise, get all your apologies done in one go, by text, letter or phone call, then LEAVE IT THERE. you’ve said sorry and if anyone wants to carry it on-you need to distance yourself. The best apology is change. Sadly some people don’t want you to change and they like you being destructive to yourself as it takes the focus off themselves. That’s their issue. Apologise. Move on.
💞if you wait for other people to change their behaviour or way they treat you before you are happy, you will never be happy. People WILL bring up the past, people WILL say things you don’t like, do things you don’t like. That’s their business. Don’t make it yours. What other people think of you is none of your business. It can only hurt you if you attach emotion to it. If you stick around to listen to it. If you invest in it.
💞think positively about yourself, if you like yourself that shines out of you. Other people will be drawn to you who like you. If you walk around talking negative about yourself others will join in. Feed your insecurities and around and around you will go. Get off the merry-go-round and walk off into the sunset knowing you are following a path that makes YOU happy. As quite frankly that’s your only job in life- to make yourself happy, fulfilled and to treat others with compassion, kindness, forgiveness and love. It’s not your job to have approval or to approve. If you have babies of your own your job is to feed, water, clothe and love. That’s it. Treat yourself the same.
💞 forgive yourself, forgive others, love yourself, love others. If it feels bad, walk away. Darkness cannot overpower light. It ALWAYS SHINES through, even the smallest amount is visible in the darkest of places. Darkness will always be there, somewhere, but all you need to do is shine to light it up. Smile at that stranger. When someone cuts you up on the road instead of anger and hate, wish them well on their journey as you never know what they’ve just gone through, give something away every day, even just a smile, or a compliment. Every evening write down what you are grateful for each day. Watch your life change.
💞 instead of putting every ounce of energy into staying sober, put it into making yourself happy. Start from scratch. Discover what you like and don’t like. I found out I NEED time on my own. Never knew this until I started soul searching.
Go with love and light 🙏🏻
Louise Shepherd mua 